Rain Boots and Romance

A few weeks ago, I bought my first pair of rain boots. To be perfectly honest, it's entirely likely that I had some rain boots as a child, however if I did, I have no specific memories associated with them. So at the ripe old age of 43, I purchased my first rain boots. Understand, I don't have a muddy stall where we keep horses, a yard that puddles up after a good rain, or a swamp that I need to wade in to fish out the occasional soccer ball. So why the boots?

Romance!

No, Robin (my wife) doesn't like taking long walks in the rain. That's not the type of romance I'm talking about. I'm talking about the romancing of the heart — or hearts to be more precise — of my children. How do rain boots fit into all of this? There in lies the tale.

For the last couple of months, I've been working my way through an excellent book entitled Romancing Your Child's Heart by Monte Swan. He uses the idea of romance to describe how we should be working to win our children's hearts to ourselves and to God — also, that there is a rival vying for our children's affections.

"We are not the only ones who want to win our children's hearts. We have a rival, a suitor with sinister designs—the villain of our fairytale. His name is Satan." page 81

The author came upon this idea of "Romance" while looking into his own upbringing and trying to figure out — in raising himself and his brothers — just what it was his own parents had done so successfully.

". . . when the world began to woo me, my mother and father chose to fight for my heart—not by building a wall around me, but by out-romancing the competition." page 13

Romancing Your Child's Heart is one of those books that should be issued with the birth of a child and does a wonderful, thought-provoking job: of encouraging, challenging, and equipping parents in the fight for their children's hearts.

I know, what happened to the rain boots? We'll get back there I promise.

One of the avenues of romance is through a child's sense of wonder, and more specifically, how it relates to creation and the worship of God.

"Wonder is only a heartbeat away from worship. It is the natural reaction to belief in God . . . We honor him when we live gladly in a state of wonder because of His works . . ." page 215

Job 37:14 Stand still and consider the wondrous works of God.

Isaiah 40:26 Lift up your eyes on high, and see who has created these things.

"Clearly, God's creation is far more that just a pretty backdrop to life." page 21

I feel the same way and want to do what I can to help my children have a wonder and joy about God's creation.

"When children wonder at the world around them, they maybe the closest of all people to comprehending the reality of God." page 217

With all this in my head, it occurred to me that none of us had rain boots and simply weren't prepared to play out in the rain, or go exploring in the nearby creeks, which, after having just read the book, seemed like a worthwhile thing to do. So, with two children in tow, we headed to our local Wal-Mart and booted up.

I told you we'd get back.

With boots in hand (so to speak) we headed to the water fall at our local nature center. It's about nine feet high, five feet wide and unless there's been a hard rain or spring thaw, the water runs over only about a foot of that five feet.

Before we move any further, I to want bring up another idea from the book. The whole point of our outing was to have some fun, build relationship, and enjoy a small portion of God's glorious creation. In a word: romance. Simple right? Well, In any romantic adventure, we have to be careful not to let our idea of what the adventure should be, get in the way of the enjoyment that our children will have naturally. In other words, we shouldn't let our "mission" take precedent over the child's "mission" or lack there of.

"Instead of relating to Dawson—which was why I had taken him fishing in the first place!—I was having a relationship with a mission." page 94

We broke our boots in by wading around below the falls and then moved up to the top where the real fun began. We had brought with a couple of Polly Pocket dolls which were snugly wrapped in bandana and placed in an empty peanut butter jar (plastic). That's right — over the falls. We fired up our best imaginations, and we sent Polly and her friend over the raging Niagara . . . they lived. After that we explored the stream up a ways, down a ways, and threw sticks in the pond on the other side of the road; all the while Polly and her friend having various assorted adventures, unwilling thrust upon them.

During all this, I simply tried to follow, directing only when it seemed appropriate. Kids know what they're doing; our job at a time like this is to simply join in the fun. When children play they are truly unselfconscious — forgetting about self — and we do our best romancing when we are engaged at that same level.

"Our primary role is to participate in a childlike way, by engaging our own five senses, and our hearts, in a shared, uncomplicated experience." page 220

Sara Groves has a song entitled I Can't Wait about all the things she's going to teach her baby boy as he grows up, and more importantly: what she is going to learn from him. The chorus is:

And you'll teach me of hearts and dreams
And all the most important things
And all that I have lost upon the way
And I can't wait

It's wonderful song and so true. We become so self-conscious and "grown-up" that we end up looking at our little ones and (as the song asks) wonder:

How do you sleep so peacefully?
How do trust unflinchingly?
How do you love so faithfully?
How do you dance so joyfully?

Good questions, and nothing like some rain-boots and heart romancing to build a relationship were we can get close enough to find out.


Other good quotes from the book:

"Unconditional love, grace, and their faith in me quenched any rebellion before it arose in my heart" page 13

"Children have emotional "tanks" that need to be filled. . . . But if we don't fill their tanks, they will eventually get them filled somewhere else, and possibly respond to another—a false—romance." page 131

". . . we must step down from the self-importance of our adult world in order to communicate and connect with our children." page 147 (gives me an idea for a future topic — well see)

"Can a parent—particularly a father—afford the luxury of a childlike heart? A better question is, can we afford not to be childlike, if we want to romance our children's hearts?" page 163

I would also be interested in any books you think qualify for "should be issued with the birth of a child" status and why.